Nia could not concentrate on her class. She restlessly waited for the lecture to get over. Then she got up and tried not to run as she made her way to her room. Thankfully her apartment was next to her college. She climbed the four flights of stairs, breathless by the time she reached the door of her room, taking deep breaths to steady her heartbeat. When she felt her heartbeat was nearly normal, She opened the door and slipped in.
Shivam had still not left. He was lying in her bed. His one arm was covering his eyes, shielding him from the light; he was deep in sleep. Nia moved forward and drew the curtains. Then she bent down and kissed his cheek. Her heart was still beating erratically. Nia went to the washroom to gain control over her emotions.
Yesterday had been a difficult night for her. She had slept amidst tears and woke to start to cry again. She had found strength in the silent presence of Shivam. He was only a classmate, the kind who did not communicate beyond the briefest nod. Yes, being aware of her mental turmoil, he had spent the whole night with her, probably in desperation to console her.
Shivam opened his eyes when he heard the door of the washroom closing. He touched his cheek where Nia had kissed. He had expected a kiss on his lips. Their first. She had been in a relationship for six years. She could not be inexperienced. Shivam expected more. Not exactly more. But a kiss on the cheek. He was not her brother, for heaven’s sake.
When Shivam heard the door opening, he turned, facing the wall. He did not know how to demonstrate his feelings to her. He felt the bed behind him dip. Why the hell was she sitting behind him, he swore to himself. Then he felt her arm around his waist and realized she was lying behind him. She moved slowly and softly so that he did not get disturbed. She pressed her body to his. He longed to turn around and take her in his arms. But he remembered she had not kissed him on his lips. So, he kept quiet.
Nia touched him softly. Caressing his arm, playing with his hair. Shivam felt she was touching him as if it was her first time as if she was a virgin. He felt a sinking feeling in his heart. Well, probably she was a virgin, but she must have made out with her boyfriend.
He turned. Nia put her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. “You know,” she whispered, “when I was a baby, I would find some excuse to sneak in the bed with papa and listen to his heartbeat. I used to love it.”
“Never listened to your boyfriend’s heartbeat.” Shivam’s voice was loaded with sarcasm. Unfortunately, it was wasted on Nia.
“I am,” she said softly.
It took a few seconds for the full impact of what she said hit him; she accepted him as her boyfriend.
In a gentler tone, Shivam said, “I meant the guy who came to see you the other day with your brother. I don’t know his name.
“He is not mine, my twin’s boyfriend.”
“But he was yours before. He claimed to love you.”
“No, he never loved me. Now I am convinced.”
“Why, he never kissed you,” Shivam’s heart started beating faster as he finally said what had been at the back of his mind.
“No, he never touched me. I don’t think he had any desire to. He probably used me to get closer to my twin brother.”
Shivam’s voice got stuck in his throat. He moved Nia to lie down on him and realized she was wearing a one-piece dress. She had removed her inner clothes. He was feeling bad she did not kiss him on the lips, and she was offering herself to him. She had come prepared.
She settled cozily on him, her head tucked under his chin.
Shivam kissed Nia’s head.
She lay absolutely still. Shivam felt she was waiting for him to make a move. The ball was in his court. He no longer had any wish or desire to make a move. He felt Nia was made of glass; he had to be very careful. He did not want to hurt her.
After a while, Nia asked, “Not sleepy? You did not sleep the whole night.”
“How can I sleep when I have the love of my life in my arms.”
Nia took a deep breath “Love of my life — heavy words. We barely know each other. Go to sleep. If you can’t, I mean, if I am distracting you, I will sit on the chair.” Shivam quickly turned around. He trapped her under his body. “Let’s sleep; I am also sleepy. I could not sleep the whole night.” Nia said as she hugged him back.
Shivam kissed her on the cheek.
Nia stared at him, not believing, and then her mistake stuck with her. She touched his cheek with her hand. Her hand was trembling as she gently touched his lips. Shivam at once opened his mouth and sucked her finger. Nia pulled back.
“How can you love me so much in such a short time?” She whispered.
“I wish I knew.”
“I thought you just wanted to make out with me.”
“I don’t make out. I have wanted you ever since I heard you talking to your brother. I knew you liked me, but then so did everyone. Of course, their eyes do not follow me everywhere. You can watch me for hours from a window or a balcony. It does not matter where I am, playing basketball or fooling around with friends; I feel your eyes on me. In the classes, you sit at a desk where you can watch me.
“You knew I did that.” Nia was shocked.
“Yes, of course.” Again Shivam kissed her cheek. But closer to her lips this time.
A sound came from Nia’s throat. A sound which spoke volumes. She wanted him. Shivam searched her eyes once, then bent down and pressed his lips to hers, slowly deepening the kiss. Nia started trembling. Shivam withdrew. Nia clung to him, and it took a few seconds for Shivam to realize that Nia had had her orgasm — probably her first.
VALLEY KAUR
