Be happy, that’s what everybody tells me.

Be happy with what I ask myself. I sit in my room the whole day, mostly watching tv. Food is served to me in my room. Anytime I step out of the room, ten servants run to me, ready to fulfil my slightest wish.

“You have been married for only six months,” my mother said, “does your husband not make you happy.”

I look at my mother trying to understand. Yes, my husband regularly has sex with me, is that supposed to make me happy. I don’t even know if he loves me.

“Go shopping,” my sister said, “it will make you happy.”

And buy what I wondered with so many clothes and shoes from my dowry lying in my wardrobe untouched.

Sometimes I feel my life has ended. Before I was married, I used to go out regularly with my friends, I was studying. There were always deadlines, assignments to be completed. Life was happening.

Now married in a new city to a rich man, will I just turn out to be a trophy wife? Will my life only be about socialising, exotic holidays and comparing my outfits to other ladies.

Have children I heard the whispers. Will I become a mother whose life revolves around their children?

Has this marriage ended my identity???

Will I always be someone’s wife, someone’s daughter-in-law, and then in future, someone’s mother ??

Will this darkness end ???